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| A view of the bridge on a sunny July day, taken with mini cam |
Part
way into the first week of July, I received a reply from my employer to the
e-mail I’d sent at the end of June. It stated that the board wouldn’t agree to
a Compromise Agreement and they were still insistent on meeting to discuss ‘adjustments’
to enable me to return to work. I was in
total despair and I started to draft a resignation letter. I had just had
enough and couldn’t face another pointless meeting. But then I got a further message
from my boss saying that I could respond in writing or get the Union Rep to
meet them instead of having to go myself so I sent the Rep some notes based on
my letter to see what he thought.
The
Union Rep didn’t reply to my first e-mail so I e-mailed him again later in the
week and when he finally rang back, he was on about going to the meeting ‘with
an open mind’. I said that was a
complete waste of time unless they had something to offer me and told him I
wanted him to ring them and find out if this was likely, and he retorted ‘why don’t
you I do it?’ I couldn’t believe it!
What did I pay that bloody union for?
I told him it was his job to support me, screamed at him and told him to
eff off before slamming the phone down.
Of
course on reflection I realised this was not a good move. He might have been crap but he was all I had.
I was just so mad though. I made an
effort to calm down somewhat and considered what to do next and then I e-mailed
him to say I was going to write a written response without his help. In the meantime, he had obviously had a bit
of a think and called my employer because he e-mailed me to say my boss was out
of the office until the following Monday. On reflection I decided to modify the
resignation letter I had drafted which outlined all the reasons why I could
never return to work, and worded it in such a way that it was asking them what
they were proposing to do to end the situation. I figured it was better to put
the ball in their court seeing as they were refusing to offer me a Compromise Agreement;
even if they ended up sacking me on grounds of ill-health I thought this was better
than resigning. I also decided that I
was definitely sacking that stupid Union off when the situation was finally
over– they were useless!!!
I
saw the doctor and told her my tale and got her to prescribe Zopyclone (as
recommended by a friend) as well as the usual sick note. We agreed to meet again at the end of the
month as we expected to have a resolution to my plight by then. The Zopyclone
did help my sleep improve a bit which was a relief because otherwise, I reckon I
would have gone completely batty.
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| Flowers with bee in the garden |
On
the Friday morning we had an unexpected diversion. I was upstairs when my
partner shouted out in such panic that I thought someone had died! I went down to investigate to find a river
running down the street which turned out to be caused by a burst pipe in the
street above. I had noticed a trickle earlier
in the week but had thought it was probably a spring. Some neighbours had already reported the leak
and whilst waiting for the water company to come and fix it, I have to say I
quite enjoyed sitting outside in the sun listening to the babbling brook – very
therapeutic.
I also made use of the ‘stream’ to water the garden and tried to
unblock a runnel down the side of the steps near our house. This turned out to
be much worse than I expected and after an hour of grafting, the hole was still
blocked and I was very hot and tired so had to stop. At the weekend I borrowed a hose off a neighbour and my partner helped me
to clear it some more and we eventually succeeded in getting it working
properly again. There was so much mud and crap to get rid of; obviously still
from the floods of the previous summer (exactly a year before in fact).
Some
neighbours reckoned the water leak had been apparent for three weeks and people
living on the other side of our street had water coming in through their back
walls, which made me feel a bit bad about enjoying the impromptu water feature.
On
Saturday afternoon we went to meet my art friend in town. She gave us gifts from
her recent trip and we had a look round Open Studios. After that my friend decided she wanted to go
somewhere nice to eat and as town was heaving, she drove us to a country pub. We sat outside and she showed us photos of her
trip before returning to town and having a drink in a beer garden. After, we went to our local and chatted to friends
and enjoyed the early evening sunshine.
When
I went to bed that night, I was unwinding nicely until I was rudely disturbed
by an alarm going off and loads of shouting from down the road. My partner was asleep but woke up quite
sharpish. It turned out that the commotion was emanating from a flat on the
main road. Some chav had set fire to a mattress which was situated outside a
bedroom which was occupied by two people – what an idiot! That was the trouble
with these proper hot summer days; people had too many special drinks and got very
silly indeed! The fire brigade arrived
and everyone got out safe thank goodness.
Needless to say, I did not sleep much after that. It didn’t help that it had started to get
light and I only managed a fitful few hours.
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| Dappled tree at Blake Dean |
So
of course on Sunday, we both felt quite groggy and ill-rested. However, we
wanted to make the most of the lovely weather so we made an effort and went to
catch the country bus. This time we walked back down along the valley bottom. However, it became rather dodgy and we had to
wade across the river at one point in order to proceed. We stopped for
refreshments in the woods and realised we had no idea how far we had walked,
but luckily we couldn’t get lost as all we had to do was follow the river.
We managed
to just catch the NT cafe for a coffee before it closed and had a laugh at the guy
on ‘cup patrol’ – worse than being harassed out of a pub at last orders! we carried
on following the river paths all the way into town. We reflected again on the profusion of plant
life this summer. Due to the late, cold winter followed by the spring rain
followed by lots of early summer sunshine, there were more and bigger flowers
and trees everywhere than I could ever remember seeing ever before – truly
stunning!
During
the following week, I had a particularly bad night when I couldn’t sleep at all
and sat up trying to think things through. The limbo I found myself in was
really doing my head in – mainly because it had now gone on for almost a year
and I had thought it was coming to an end in May at long last, yet two months
later nothing had changed. I knew that I needed to accept this as a current
condition and attempt to live in the moment as much as possible. I found it
impossible to consider the future and I told myself there was no point going
over the past.
As
it turned out, I received a registered letter the next day about a ‘hearing’
proposed for the following week. I e-mailed
the Union Rep and he sent a message back later saying he couldn’t make that
date but would send my boss some alternatives, so I e-mailed him again to make
sure he ran the dates by me – which he didn’t do the previous time. It was
sounding more like the prospect of being sacked on the grounds of ill health was
a distinct possibility.
Whilst
I had already accepted this as a better alternative to me resigning, I still
felt aggrieved that they were not prepared to offer me a settlement. I had to
wait for the date to be set before I could put it out of mind and sitting
around waiting to hear was always the worst thing. To make matters worse, the
Union Rep wasn’t available the following week pushing the meeting to almost the
end of July. And so it dragged on again...
I
did my best to forget about the horrid stuff and we had quite a varied
weekend. We went to see our mates’ band
on the Friday night which was nice, and on the Saturday we had a pleasant day
lounging in the sun and strolling round town. On the Sunday we went to
Calderdale industrial museum open day which was loads more interesting than I expected
with massive great machines, some of which were in working order. Apparently the museum had been closed for 15
years and they were trying to set up a trust so it could re-open again. After that we went to our favourite
restaurant and sat out on the patio and had one of their ace value Sunday
lunches complete with free wine before catching the train back and visiting our
local for a couple of pints before going home.
Monday
was St. Swithin's day and it was cheery to note that it stayed sunny thus
signalling no rain for the next 40 days (or so the legend goes).
I
received a payslip confirming that I had only got one week’s pay which didn’t
surprise me as I knew my sick pay was about to run out. I rang the jobcentre
about Employment Support Allowance which took almost an hour. I also found out that my employer should have
sent me a form saying that my Statutory Sick Pay had run out so I had to chase
them to ask for one – why can no-one do their job properly?
On
the Wednesday we were going to a gig in Manchester and I made a day of it to
visit my Mum. I took enough food with me
for lunch plus extra to save her cooking for a day or two as well as a cake I
had made. Mum seemed relatively okay
and in good spirits. After lunch, as it was
absolutely stifling indoors I spent ages persuading Mum to sit out in the shade
in the back garden. I eventually succeeded but of course there were a million
reasons why she didn’t like it as with everything nowadays, so we came back
in. I did offer to help with stuff like
washing but she declined which I was a bit surprised about. I did come clean about my illness though, as
it had dragged on so long I thought it was time to stop lying and I felt I had
to explain why I hadn’t been able to visit her for almost a year. She just said ‘there’s a lot of it about’
which was a relief’.
I
left at teatime and went to meet my partner in Manchester and we went to see
our friend who had got the tickets for us as it was cheaper for Manchester
residents. She had heatstroke from
working outside all day so we left after a cuppa and went back into town for
something to eat before the gig.
At the Albert Hall, we got a very overpriced
drink at the bar - I actually had water as I was really overheated and the
building was old and un-ventilated and I knew that if I drank alcohol I would
get ill. We then went upstairs to survey the glory of the old building (a Wesleyan
Chapel built in 1910) and to await the Goldfrapp. They came on about 9.20 and played their new
album as planned, then after a very short interlude, they came back and did a
few of their old songs, but the posh ones!
The end bit of ‘July’ was stunning!
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| The gorgeous ceiling of the Albert Hall |
It’s quite funny how we seem to now
go to see pop acts from the later 20th century with orchestras –
does that mean it’s classical music now?
Of
course the place was full of nobs; there were so many people posting photos to
Tumblr and comparing and ‘liking’ other’s photos that I really wondered how
many genuine Goldfrapp fans there were as opposed to wankers who just wanted to
say they were there. At the end of the
gig it took a full 10 minutes to get out of the building as people were still
twittering and clogging up the stairs.
We went for the last train and got it with 5 minutes to spare.
When
I got home I had to soak my feet as they were so achy before I went to
bed. Then I really couldn’t sleep at
all. I just couldn’t get my brain to
calm down after all the activity of the day (13 hours out of the house in one
stretch – I was shattered!). I tried various relaxation techniques and
eventually slept a bit but kept waking and got up at seven the next morning.
By the
weekend, I was still feeling very tired due to lack of sleep. We had a stupid argument on Friday night
about nothing; I think we were both just so stressed and worn out. However, on
the Saturday we talked things through a bit about what we were both going
through and came up with a bit more of a plan for my next encounter with my employer
(not that it helped as you will soon find out).
We cheered ourselves up by booking a holiday to Zakynthos for the end of
August and decided to just chill out the rest of the weekend.
By
the Monday I still felt quite groggy even though I had slept better. I pottered about checking what we needed to
buy in the way of holiday supplies and looked at clothes sales on line for a
few essentials. That night was incredibly humid and early on Tuesday morning, I
could hear thunder rumbling in the distance and getting nearer. A few minutes later there was the most
enormous thunder clap and amazingly bright lightning. Later in the day enormous rain drops were falling from
the ominous clouds above.
I
was suffering from art withdrawal as there was no class over the summer break so
I decided to have a go at doing a still life. I arranged some small pots and
grasses and did some painting and charcoal drawings with mixed results. I appeared
to have lost the knack again of doing that light/dark shade thing. On the plus side, it did take my mind off the
fact that I had to go to the stupid ‘hearing’ that week.
The
‘hearing’ was in fact really awful, despite my attempts to prepare for it. My
boss lied about their incompetence in following their own policies and amongst
other things, claimed that the stupid ‘action plan’ she’d come up with in my
absence and which I did not agree to in any way, contained ‘reasonable
adjustments’. Oh! And apparently I said I didn’t want to go to
ACAS! Lying bitch! The upshot of the meeting was that they would
make a decision about my ‘future employment’ which was a joke because
apparently there were 3 options –:
1.
Compromise Agreement – even though the board had already said no to this
2.
Reasonable Adjustment – to which I had said an uncategorical no
3.
Dismissal on grounds of ill health - which was what I wanted by this stage anyway
seeing as they wouldn’t pay me off to sod off and shut up. I just couldn’t understand why the matter
couldn’t be settled there and then.
After,
the Union Rep said he’d ring them and try and get me 12 weeks’ notice pay – well,
I thought, good luck with that one mate.
He also said that they had treated me like ‘shit’. Very helpful saying that now (not!) I was so
angry and frustrated. It was as if all the crap from the previous few months had
never happened! I really wanted vengeance,
but a few days later, I came up with the idea of this blog instead.
Of
course when I got home I was exhausted. I
tried to calm down and relax . We had a
long weekend coming up as my partner had taken the Friday off work. We set off
for a walk and ended up on Cock Hill. We could see Halifax at one end and Upper
valley at the other – panorama tastic! We
had a picnic and tried to avoid too many insect bites then walked back into
town for a few pints.
On
Saturday we had a day at home then on Sunday we went to the flicks with a
friend to see World War Z – entertaining but required enormous suspension of
disbelief (even for a zombie film) and rife with continuity errors. After, we went for a few drinks and chatted
shit about politics art etc and had a good laugh.
The
end of July brought some awesomely
heavy rain followed by floods further up the valley. Of course this prompted much panic and whingeing
on social media. (I knew that pub cellar should have been filled in when they
had the chance last year) I was glad I didn’t have to go out. It took ages for my
partner to get home as the lightning kept affecting signals, so it was a good
job he’d left work early.
When
I went to see the doctor as arranged and told her my tale I got a bit annoyed
that she thought I would miraculously get better straight away when the stuff
was resolved. As it happened, I had received an e-mail just that morning saying
that a letter was on its way to me but it didn’t arrive until after I returned
home so I wasn’t able to discuss its contents with her. Anyway, we agreed on another appointment in two
weeks to review the situation and I tried not to dwell on it. When I got home I
was absolutely shattered and felt like I’d been sleep walking the whole time I
was out.
When
I opened the expected letter it said that my employment would be terminated on
grounds of ill health. They were giving me ten weeks’ pay in lieu of notice
plus holiday pay so it was actually a similar amount to what I would have
received if I had been made redundant, except it was taxed so I lost a third of
it due to their bloody-mindedness. Still,
it was finally over at last.
A
part of me thought that I might feel instantly better when I came to the end of
the saga but it wasn’t quite like that. I
suppose that after a year of the crap it was too much to expect I would just
suddenly go back to my old self...
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