Part 11 - March 2013

Fantastic cliff formations, Lagos, Portugal

On the first Saturday in March, we had friends round for dinner and I spent all day cooking which I really enjoyed but tired me out.  Luckily, I didn’t realise how much until after our visitors had gone, so we had a really nice time eating, chatting and listening to music in their company.  And then of course I did not sleep much at all that night  The next day, we finished packing for our holiday and this entailed last-minute additions such as anoraks and stout boots as the weather forecast was for lots of rain.  Later in the day another friend called round for coffee as we wouldn’t be seeing her for a while and the day after that we flew to Portugal.
 

 Our holiday was very nice and relaxing, even though there was lots of rain as expected. We decided to go with the flow and spent time looking at all the different rock formations, cliffs full of fossils, spring flowers (many of which were growing on waste ground left by failed developments due to the Euro crash) and coves and beaches, with quite a bit of walking involved.  We also went to a few museums and churches and ate lots of seafood, drank some nice wines and had lots of laughs

Igreja de sao Sebastiao, Lagos, Portugal

On the downside, we both had colds at the start of the holiday so it took us hours to come round properly in the mornings and we didn’t get to go anywhere outside Lagos as we had planned.  
Still, there was enough to do there so we didn’t get fed up.  Local characteristics included more hippies in camper vans than you could shake a stick at (I’d been in the country about an hour when a crusty begged a fag off me while we were having lunch outside a cafe much to the chagrin of the waiter who came out to shoo him away) and being able to buy cheeky drinks virtually anywhere (sweet shop, hot dog stand, snack bar... all places you could have a sly one). 
 You may also be surprised to learn that International Women’s Day in those parts involves taking your lady out for a free drink, or maybe a striptease!  We went to a cabaret at the cultural centre to celebrate the occasion which was naff but a laugh.

When we flew back to the UK, the plane arrived a bit early but then had to wait 15 minutes on the tarmac to park as apparently the computers went wrong due to the snow.  Oh yes!  It might have rained a lot in Portugal but at least it was quite warm at 16 degrees, so to come back to a freezing, snowy England was a bit of a shock.  Back at home I was so tired and cold I went to bed at 10 o’clock that night.  Strangely, I had slept really well most of the holiday especially the first half– maybe my cold virus made me extra sleepy – but then the second half I was back to square one, probably due to fretting about what awaited me back home.

The following morning, we woke to find it had snowed again overnight and was still cold, but at least it was sunny so this warmed the house up a bit and I made porridge for breakfast which also helped us cope with the temperature drop. I got back to normal tasks and went to the doctors to check the latest version of the Medical Report – which was now excellent seeing as I had written half of it! Then more waiting was involved as my employers had yet to pay up so the surgery would not send the report on until they did.

The next day, I felt really rubbish again and had a thumping headache first thing but this eased off a bit. On my way to dance class, I had a think about specific reasons for this and tried to rationalise things in my mind and convince myself that the end of my protracted ordeal was in sight.  I managed to drag myself to art class that night and we painted expressionist landscapes which I liked because I could use blocks of colour and not worry about those pesky shadows.  I didn’t finish it and aimed to carry on with it the following week. However, this turned out to be my last class that term due to viral illness followed by the Easter holidays.

I felt no better later in the week.  I was still plagued by headaches, felt very tired and lethargic and like I was getting a cold again.  My partner was also trying to sort through some work issues so I distracted myself from my own worries to try and help him with his. Also, his dad was in hospital following a fall and his Mum needed looking after.  I wondered if we might have to go on an emergency mission but thankfully my partner’s cousin stepped in so crisis was averted. 

When I tried other ways to take my mind off our problems, I was thwarted by technical problems as both my laptop and my phone kept saying they wanted to install updates and then would lock up and stop working which was very annoying.

The following weekend the weather was cold and grey and we both felt tired and rubbish so we mainly dossed about.  By Monday, I really did feel like I had another virus and could feel it in my nose as well as across my forehead. I spent the morning in bed then had to get up for a pre-booked doctor’s appointment.  It took me ages to get ready to go out because I was so weak and pathetic (even more than usual).  I updated the doctor on how I felt and she prescribed a nasal spray seeing as this virus thing was not clearing up and seemed to be mainly affecting my nose. I started to feel a bit better gradually during that week but still extremely tired and spent most of the time in bed. At night, I took some antihistamines in a bid to have a better kip and I also thought it might help my nasal passages and this did help me to get a relatively better quality of sleep. 

Wednesday of that week was the spring equinox so to mark the occasion it snowed again overnight.  Although it didn’t stick, it was very cold and grey again. And by the end of the week, it was literally blowing a blizzard – wind and snow was careering over the valley and apparently it was the same story elsewhere.  Welcome to spring UK!  That, coupled with still feeling achy and weary, made me disinclined to venture outside.

By the Saturday, it was still snowy and windy which meant the blizzard had lasted for two days which was unknown in living memory, never mind in late March! There was a light but constant snowfall and because of the wind, some bits of ground hardly look covered at all whilst there were massive drifts here and there judging by photos on FB. 

I had a weird horrid dream that ended a bit inconclusively.  I woke up  and lay awake for a while thinking about it (I realised later that it was just a crass subconscious interpretation of my plight). When I mentioned it to my partner , at first he asked if ‘the shit’ was still bothering me. I made an effort not to get angry with him and patiently explained (yet again) that nothing had changed in that regard, and that it wouldn’t until the situation was resolved.  I also said I thought my current illness was part of it; although there are physical symptoms, sheer exhaustion was the real factor and I was totally worn out by the whole thing.

Over the following weekend, it finally stopped snowing and the sun was visible for the first time in a while, but it was still windy.  The forecast was for freezing temperatures at night followed by more snow, possibly right up to the following weekend so it was not looking good for the Pace Egg play!

As predicted, when Monday came around there was still snow on the ground but I was forced to venture outside to get a few essential.  It was hard going due to piles of snow and slippy ice, especially the steps by the side of the house.  There was also still a biting wind so although the air temperature was not too bad it soon felt cold when out in it.  The physical effort resulted in me being able to add back ache to my list of woes, and I was so knackered again that I had to go back to bed.

The next morning, my partner cleared ice off the steps outside. We noticed that the pavement at the sharp corner leading into our street had been gritted which was something, but people had been clearing the bit just outside their own house door and then leaving piles of snow in everyone else’s way – selfish gits!

Towards the end of March, a letter arrived from my employer inviting me to a meeting with my boss ‘without prejudice’ (whatever that meant).  My partner was on his way to work and I had received a missed call from him, so I took the opportunity to ring him back and tell him about the letter.  He said that was just what they had to do.  I realised later he was probably right, but at the time I couldn’t see it – why wouldn’t they just accept I couldn’t go back there and settle with me? 

I realised that I had to contact the Union before doing anything so I e-mailed the Rep with a list of bullet points for him to advise me on.  I also looked up ‘without prejudice’ on the web and found out that it is a legal term normally used when a settlement is in the offing and indicates that anything said can’t be used in a court or tribunal.  I thought it was strange that they had used this term when they weren’t offering me a settlement.  Also, I felt it was wrong for them to just stick those words on the top of a letter if they had no real intention of coming to an agreement.  I derived some comfort from the fact that it came across as if they still didn’t seem to know what they were doing and tried hard to not worry about it until I heard back from the Union Rep.

Thankfully, I started to feel a bit better physically although I was still achy everywhere, and constantly tired and cold.  But at least I was able to be up and about to deal with phone calls and correspondence.

Later in the week, the Union Rep e-mailed a reply which didn’t say much so I suggested he ring me for a chat, and then started doing a timeline of events to get them clear in mind in case I had to speak to ACAS. The Rep eventually rang me back at 6.30 p.m. and I had to repeat everything I’d asked him to do in my original e-mail (did he ever actually read them? Talking to him stressed me out more than my employer!  ). I instructed him to ring my boss to clarify exactly what they meant by the term ‘without prejudice’ and to ask them why they were not going to ACAS now as per their own policies.  He said he would do this the next morning. I said I had hoped he would try this earlier in the week as the Easter Bank Holiday was upon us and I doubted if many people would be in the office the next day. Still, I had now learnt that if I told him directly to do something he agreed to do so, meaning that in theory I could leave the matter in his hands.

As it turned out he did trying ringing my boss the next morning but she was out of the office until the following Tuesday as I had feared.  I tried to be positive and convince myself that maybe this time the delay might work in my favour.

I was determined not to let the situation ruin our long weekend together and after my recent bouts of viruses etc. I was keen to get and about a bit and enjoy some Easter fun.  On Good Friday we did a big shop for nice food and goodies. The weather was sunny and a bit warmer than of late contrary to the forecast, so we went up to the traditional Pace Egg.  

A bemused dog watches the antics of the Pace Egg play

Normally we walk up, even though it is a steep climb, but this year we got the bus as I didn’t fancy it in my still feeble condition, especially with ice and snow remaining on the ground in places.  We got a beer from one of the pubs then found a decent viewing spot in the square.  We saw various people that we knew, including one friend who had just returned from an Antipodean adventure and it was nice to catch up.  We watched the kid’s version of the play then went to get more beer before going back for the last adult play of the day – predictably drunken and funny.  It started to get really cold and snowed a bit so we went in the pub to warm up and have a couple more drinks.  We Lost sight of the people we knew and talked to some random people instead. 

We walked back home which was a bit slippy and tricky, especially on the steep steps. We spent the rest of the evening eating, drinking and watching films and got quite drunk but at least we were in the safety of our own home. And all that alcohol knocked me out so I had decent night’s sleep for a change. When I got up the next day, I was still drunk (which doesn’t happen a lot these days), and remembered that I broke a plate and a wine glass the night before which again is quite uncharacteristic for me.  We took it easy that day just pottering about then made ourselves a roast dinner. Due to a broken night’s sleep and the clocks going forward, I didn’t feel very rested on Easter Sunday but felt ought we to go for a bit of a walk seeing as it was sunny first thing if still cold. Then it turned grey and felt even colder so we just went for a mooch round town.  When we came back I was so tired that I could easily have gone to sleep and was glad that we had made enough food the night before so we didn’t have to cook.

On Easter Monday we’d arranged to meet some friends to watch the duck race which seemed to have acquired a new feature since I last witnessed the spectacle in the form of a ‘corporate’ race.  We were contemplating the madness of this, when all the ducks got stuck because the river water was too shallow which was hilarious and quite a few people were heckling the duck catchers for animal cruelty.  Then it was on to the main event which was also predictably daft.  After, we had a wander through the melee of the Bank Holiday crowds who were amusing themselves in what has now become a mini Spring fair (complete with candy floss, lame rides and an awful DJ).  Then we spied another friend and cajoled her into coming for a pint and had quite a pleasant spell in the pub before going home. 

This made a nice ending to the long weekend. I appeared to have shaken off my viral illness and had succeeded in pushing my troubles to one side for a few days.  But I was still left in limbo and yet again, wondered when this ridiculous ordeal would finally be over!